Making sense of
what keeps happening.

You do not need to arrive with a clear explanation of what is wrong. We can begin with what has been troubling you, what feels difficult to say, or the sense that something in your life keeps repeating.

 

My approach draws on psychoanalytic training. We don’t always understand why we feel certain things, make particular choices, or repeat experiences we want to change. Some influences on our lives operate outside our awareness. Listening closely together can help us begin to recognize them, without assuming that recognizing them is enough to make them change.

 

Why familiar patterns return

 

You may find yourself expecting criticism, holding back your needs, withdrawing when you want closeness, or becoming caught in familiar conflicts. These responses often have a history. Some may once have helped you manage painful or uncertain situations.

 

Together, we can explore how those patterns developed, what they protect you from, and how they affect your life now.

 

Wanting change—and feeling pulled away from it

 

Different parts of you can want different things. You may want greater closeness while fearing dependence, or want to speak more freely while worrying about rejection.

 

Sometimes the very ways we protect ourselves from pain become the things that keep us from living differently. Keeping your needs to yourself may help you avoid disappointment, for example, while also leaving you feeling alone.

 

We can approach these tensions with curiosity. Rather than pushing past a response that feels protective, we can explore why it is needed, what it costs you, and what makes letting it change feel risky.

 

Why understanding is only a beginning

 

Recognizing a pattern does not necessarily loosen its hold. Feelings and reactions can return even after you understand them.

 

Working through means returning to these experiences over time: noticing when they arise, exploring what makes them difficult, and gradually finding more room to respond. This can involve frustration, uncertainty, and revisiting something you thought you had already resolved. Those experiences deserve attention too.

 

Our relationship is part of the work

 

Therapy is also a relationship. The feelings that arise between us—including trust, uncertainty, disappointment, and moments of misunderstanding—can become opportunities to understand familiar experiences in a different way.

 

Talking about these experiences can help us understand what happens between us and what may feel familiar in other relationships. I welcome hearing when something I say misses the mark or when you find yourself holding something back.